Over the last couple of weeks I have been reflecting on my life and all that I have going on. I am Muslim, Nigerian, a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend, a business owner and much more. I like to think that I am pious, kind, helpful, loving and creative. While being all of these things, I realize that I have a lot going on and I have been neglecting certain important areas of my life, with the biggest being my deen.

Yes I pray, yes I still try to be a good person and practice Islam, yes I still observe hijab but I’ve seriously been slacking. Gone are the days where I spent time before and after each salah reading pages of the Qur’an in Arabic and English. Gone are the days where I regularly listened to a new lecture everyday and pondered about how I could incorporate what I was learning into my life. Islam is definitely still very important to me and I’m always striving to be better. However, part of striving for clarity is the realization that I am failing in some areas and that I need to do better.


I’ve noticed that often, when people mention that they are struggling with their deen, they generally also say that their iman needs work. For me though, that’s not my problem. My faith in Islam- in the Prophets and Messengers(Peace and Blessings be upon them), in the oneness of Allah, in the holy books, my belief and understanding of the day of judgement, the angels and that our destiny is already written- has not changed. My faith is just as strong as it was a few months ago. I am still proud to be Muslim and I am constantly striving to do better. What has changed however, is my commitment and prioritization.

On one hand, I wish there were more hours in the day for me to get all of my work done, take care of my home, take care of my family, volunteer within my community and engage in studies for the deen.  On the other hand, I am fully aware that all things are possible through Allah(SWT) and that by taking the time to worship Him, anything good that I want, will happen for me.
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I have realized that my problem stems from properly prioritizing. I have become very caught up in reaching these dunya goals that I’ve set for myself that I’ve placed my akhira aside. There have been many times where I’ve stopped during the day and thought “How will my afterlife be? I’m I doing what I need to do to make it to Jannah?” and frankly, the answer has been “No”. Then I tell myself, “ok, I need start doing xyz”, but a few hours later and I’ve completely forgotten about those thoughts. Overall, I am not as focused as I used to be.

Let me clarify and say that the goals that I’ve set for myself aren’t necessarily bad, it’s just my balancing that needs work. It is  pretty common among those who want to present this “I’m more pious than you” persona to go on and on about how people are consumed with the dunya, how it’s not good for you and how we should only care about the akhira. I do not subscribe to that ideology. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying this world and all that it has to offer(excluding things that are haram) while still striving for jannah. However, it is all about balance. You should not be neglecting your prayers because you are so busy working for that next promotion at work. You shouldn’t be withholding your zakat because you’re spending that money on a purse. There is nothing wrong with working hard for that promotion. In fact, you should work hard. You should be making dua for that promotion. If you can afford to buy that purse after you’ve paid your zakat and given even more to charity, then do so.  The important thing is having balance.

With that said, when it comes to improving, I can keep the goals that I have now but incorporate and prioritize those specific goals that relate to Islam more. I’d really like to get back to memorizing more of the Qur’an and engaging in more charity work. I’m also very aware that I’ve been slipping when it comes to tabaruj again(will go into more detail on another post)

Like most Muslims, I dream of having a pleasant afterlife. Since the birth of my son though, that desire has gotten stronger. I want to ensure that I am setting a good example for him. In the afterlife,  I want to be in Jannah thinking about the pleasant times that I had with him. I do not want to be sad and tormented in Jahannam. I know that might sound morbid but this is honestly a concern and fear of mine. I don’t let this concern get me down though, instead I try to focus on what I can do to ensure that Jannah happens.

It is very easy to say, “ok, starting tomorrow, I’m going to read two pages of the Qur’an before and after each salah, listen to two lectures every week, pray qiyaam every night and memorize 10 ayat a day”. The reality though is that in the long term, this plan is not realistic. It’s too much being thrown in at once. You can’t go from 0-100 overnight. Yes it might work for a week, maybe a couple of months but chances are, the changes won’t stick. Instead, I plan to gradually change things and eventually work up to this.

I am going to start by dedicating one hour a day(aside from regular salah of course) to Islam. That hour will consist of Qur’an reading as well as other Islamic text and occasionally a lecture. After successfully doing this for 1 month, I plan on adding 1 lecture twice a week and then building off of that. inshaAllah, taking this slow but steady approach will get me back to where I want to be.

Please keep me in your dua and for all those who are also struggling, remember that Islam is not an all or nothing faith. You have to start from somewhere and build up to where you’d ideally like to be.

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1. I had a baby! Alhamdulilah, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy in April. He is now 5 months and growing so fast. It’s crazy in an interesting sort of way how much being a mother can change you. All of a sudden, with the entrance of a new addition, your fears, dreams, and goals are quickly shifted. I will inshaAllah, be doing a longer post on this in the near future. ​

2.  I moved! Due to my husband’s job, we moved to Abu Dhabi, UAE in July. We’ve been living here for 3 months now and Alhamdulilah, it’s been great. I’m so pleased with our decision to move here. Our family has been so much happier and we’ve adjusted well. We’ve made some friends, I finally have my ladies’ majlis( you can check out the pictures on IG), we’ve been spending more time working on our deen and ibadah and have plans to do a ton of traveling while we’re here. ​

3. Business. I’ve been working very hard on rebuilding and re-branding Striving For Modesty as well as my makeup business. I’ve also decided it’s time for me to start utilizing my degrees again and  get back into political research/development. I’ve enjoyed running my own business from home but I do miss researching. Ideally, I’d like to work for about 2-3 years in a traditional workplace then migrate to freelance political/economic consulting and research or just working as a researcher from home so that I can still utilize my skills doing what I enjoy and also stay home to care for(and inshaAllah homeschool) my son. 

That's my update for you! What sort of things would you like me to "randomly ramble" about? Let me know below in the 'comments' section. :D 

The last two months has been a whirlwind of intensity of me religious-wise. Alhamdulilah, things have been going great as far as my personal practice of Islam but I have come in contact with a lot various things that have made me question and reanalyze how I process and engage in things when it comes to Islam.

Four months ago, I started wearing niqab and Alhamdulilah, no surprises, I loved it. I felt so much more modest that when I was wearing just a khimar and jilbab and the level of taqwa that I felt was immense. I have since taken it off for a couple of reasons. Looking back, the entire whirlwind started with niqab. Once I made the decision to start wearing it, I spoke with #themister about it and started wearing it, I decided to start reading more and more about it. One of the first things I read is the Four Essays of Veiling. It’s a great book and many sisters tend to recommend it to each other. After reading that book, I began listening to some lectures on niqab which then led me to listening to lectures on other things.

I don’t want to get too lengthy so I’ll try to be as succinct as possible :) As I was listening to these lectures, I started to take in a lot of what was being said and wanted to implement the teachings in my life, especially in regards to aspects that were  specific for women. As I listened to more lectures, I started noticing things that didn’t sit right me, as well as things that were contrary to what I was taught from the Qur’an and the various Ahadith that I have read. I continued to reflect on these lectures as well as various books(including the Four Essays book mentioned above). I started noticing that in a lot of these lectures and the like, very little Qur’an and Ahadith are mentioned. Yes, an ayah or hadith was mentioned here and there but for the most part, I found that the ayah or hadith used, loosely applied to the topic at hand.

Eventually, I started to feel as if I was being ‘pressured’ to practice Islam a certain way that didn’t necessarily mesh with the Islam I learned from the Qur’an and something was off. At first, I started to rationalize it with myself and say “maybe I’ve been missing something” or “maybe I’m just being difficult and just don’t want to change myself for the better”. As I listened to more lectures, I began picking up on things  being shared that definitely contradicted the essence of Islam. I discussed my thoughts with a friend and started researching the speakers behind these lectures more and their institution. To my dismay, there were many people who felt how I felt and many ‘reputable’ warnings to stay away from them.

After this experience, I became extremely wary of lectures and speakers. There’s just so much fitnah with all the information that is passed around that I’ve decided to just stay away from most lectures and books. I just really want my life and experience with Islam to be as unadulterated as possible. I want to keep things simple and practice Islam to the best of my ability. So far, I’ve been feeling much better Alhamdulilah and in sha Allah, I  hope this continues. I’ll be sure to keep you posted :)


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As Muslims we must be forbearing and sincere towards one another. Your Muslim sister should be someone that you can turn to in a time of need and someone you can seek advice from.  A Muslimah must be tolerant towards her fellow sisters and overlook their mistakes. When a problem arises, she should not rush to adopt a solution that may cause division and haraam kinds of forsaking. The importance of relationships, in regards to friends and family is something that I always try to remember. If you've read my previous posts, you'll know that I haven't always put much stock into friendships. Over the past year, it's something that I've been working on. May Allah-SWT- continue to guide me. May Allah help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.  ​

What exactly does someone mean when they say "I'm Salafi"?  Generally what they're saying is “I follow the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger, based on the understanding and practical implementation of the Salaf as-Sālih (i.e. first three generations)”.

There are a lot of people who like to treat Salafiyyah as if it's a sect or some exclusive group. It's not and it shouldn't be treated as such. I first became familiar with Salafiyyah seven years ago. I remember thinking that it made perfect sense and that it was very self explanatory. Why shouldn't Muslims only follow the Qur'an and Sunnah. I think what turned me off was the fact that so many so-called Salafis treat it as a sect/group and spend so much time badmouthing others. They used the term "Salafi" as a tool to elevate themselves in the eyes of others. So needless to say, I didn't associate myself with Salafiyyah but identified myself simply as "I am Muslim and believe in following the Qur'an and Sunnah". 

​Fast forward a couple of years and doing more research, I came across Salafiyyah again. Still, I was turned off by the lack of adab many Salafi proponents exhibited, the "obsession" with badmouthing other Muslims who didn't fit their "standard" and the sheer lack of discourse and dialogue among Salafis- every question was answered with a ruling-no feelings, no humanity, no  discussions or acknowledgement of the real life difficulties and stressors that come with them. In summary, I found it hard to relate to these people. They seemed to lack a lot of the attributes that many of the Sahabah had. 

​Fast forward a couple more years, getting married and gaining more knowledge, and my thoughts are about the same. However, I've come to accept that my problem isn't with the methodology. The problem was with the people. I will say that I agree with and follow the Salafi methodology. As a Muslim, I strive to adhere to the Qur'an and Sunnah and utilize the examples of the Sahabah, the Tabi'in and the Tabi al-Tabi'in.  My husband and I generally use Salafi "sanctioned" resources when researching, attend a Salafi masjid and most of my good Muslimah friends ascribe to being Salafi.  With that being said, as long as a fellow Muslimah is along the same mindset, then I'm all about being her companion. I don't believe we should tell someone that they're "off the Deen" simply because they don't claim to be Salafi but do everything accordingly nor should we assume someone is good or accept everything they say simply because they claim to be Salafi. 

May Allah keep us all on the straight path. 

What are your thoughts on this subject? I'm very curious :D