FRIENDSHIP AND ISLAM

Recently on my blog I had a new convert reach out to me and ask me why they felt so alone lately and why they seem to be having a hard time keeping any friends around. “It feels like they are dropping like flies” I took some time to reflect before I was able to continue the conversation, the more I thought about the reverts that I have come across, I came to realize that the most common problem is how many friends and family we tend to lose during our transition into this new lifestyle. What is it about Islam that drives people away? I kept asking myself this since I, was also changing the circle of people I decided to surround myself with. Overtime, I have learned that most often it is due to the misconceptions of Islam and the fact that we are trying to devote our entire lives to a higher purpose. Islam is not just a religion that we practice on certain days, it is a lifestyle, it requires hard work and most definitely, some remodeling of our lives and ourselves. This is the most fragile time for a revert. We tend to not have a good solid base of support from our family and friends, whom unless they are Muslim, do not really have a solid understanding of what Islam teaches.  The more I reach out to other reverts the more I understand that the transition into Islam is very tough on us and if we happen to have good Muslim friends we are very blessed. During this time however we need to remember that this is a test from Allah SWT and we need to use this time to our best benefit instead of listening to the whispers of shaytan to keep us feeling down and focusing on the negative. We must remember that Allah(SWT) wants us to get closer to him.  A good friend of mine once told me that Allah(SWT) loves to hear us calling his name and he will come running to us even if we are only taking baby steps. We are taught this in this Hadith Qudsi:

On the authority of Abu Harayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (PBUH) said: Allah the Almighty said:
I am as My servant thinks I am (1). I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assemble better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed"

The most frequent  advice that  I have received from other Muslims is that I should go to a masjid and get involved with the sisters that are there, but for the most part new reverts are not so comfortable with  going to the masjid by ourselves because it may seem a little intimidating.  Some tips that I would like to give to to other reverts are :

1. Reach out to each other on social networks! There are so many reverts waiting to reach out to other reverts and give advice. I have learned so many helpful tips just by  talking to so many wonderful sisters on social media who genuinely want to help. 
   
   
2. It is really important to surround yourself with people who want the same things in life as you do. For example its really benefiting to hang out with other Muslims and reverts who are trying to get closer to Allah(SWT) and improve their deen, because it will encourage you as well. They will also be the motivation that you need to start fixing yourself and improving in the areas that you are lacking.  
   
   

At the end of the day and when we sit back and reflect on our journey so far,  we, as reverts,  have to remember pace ourselves and use this opportunity to show others that it is possible to be a good Muslim despite whatever hardships we face. It may seem like a difficult time however we can use this as something positive and reach out to others who might not have a great support system.  All by the help of Allah(SWT) we have to remember that Allah(SWT) does not burden a soul with more than we can bare. 


                                      ----Chib

This article was written by an SFC guest contributor