Reflections on the Ideal Muslimah
*This article is written by an SFC Guest Contributor *
Bismillah al-Rahman al-Raheem
Assalaamu alaikum, and thank you for stopping by to read my very first article here on Striving for Clarity! I am so excited to be able to contribute to the “Ideal Muslimah” section of this website, alhamdulillah, and today I want to start by writing a short article to share just a couple of my reflections on the idea of the “ideal Muslimah.”
Often when we hear the word “ideal”, we thinks of things like our ideal day, ideal job, ideal life, ideal husband etc. These all tend to be things that we either want really bad and don't have, or that we think we “should” have. The word ideal often carries connotations of perfection, of finally having arrived at a long-awaited destination. “Ideal” can often feel like something that is just a dream, a wish, something abstract and unlikely to happen in our real world.
I remember one of the books I read within the first year after converting to Islam was The Ideal Muslimah. I loved the book, primarily because there is a lot of valuable information in there.However, the very first time I read it, as a budding new Muslimah only six or seven months into her journey with Islam, it left me feeling a bit overwhelmed. I was sure I could never possibly be a very good Muslimah, let alone an ideal one.
It has been three long years since I first read it , and I recently reread the book. It was the exact same copy that I read all those years ago, but with this reading, I took a completely different message from it. This time it left me with a sense of motivation instead of despair. The change was not in the content of the book itself, but it was a change in my own mindset that caused me to take such a different lesson from the book than I had before.
I have learned in these three years that on our journey to become the “ideal” Muslimah, ideal doesn't necessarily mean what it sounds like it does in normal usage. On this journey, ideal isn't the end of the journey, it is a constantly changing path. As the name of this site suggests, an ideal Muslimah is actually a striving Muslimah. It is one who recognizes her weaknesses and is seeking to improve them. It is one who desires those good qualities in herself and seeks to practice them. It is one who is working to the absolute best of her capabilities to be the best kind of woman she can be, based on what Islam has outlined for her. An ideal Muslimah is a Muslimah who makes mistakes, and learns how to be better from them.
What I want you to keep in mind when reading any of my articles in this section is that no one in this life will ever be perfect. I myself am far, far from it, but every day is an opportunity for us to wake up and be better than we were the day before. We have so many amazing Muslim women as role models both from the time of the Companions رضي الله عنهم(May Allah be pleased with him) and throughout our rich history, and they give us extraordinary, yet human, examples to strive towards.
If you are reading my posts and looking to implement changes in your life, I want you to know that change does not have to be a huge grand gesture. Instead, it can be the most minute thing that shifts, as long as you work at it persistently each day. The Prophet said:
“Take on only as much as you can do of good deeds, for the best of deeds is that which is done consistently, even if it is little”
I have so many ideas for things I would like to share here, and I am so grateful to be able to be on this journey with you, my sisters in Islam. Wishing you all the best, until next time, in shaa Allah!
Ashley Bounoura is a writer, revert, tea-drinker, and cat-lover. She is the founder of the blog Muslimah According to Me, where she shares inspiration and encouragement for Muslim women on their individual spiritual journeys. Ashley also has a collaboration on a forthcoming book, the Qur’an Journal, which will be available mid-November,
10/23/2017 03:32:40 pm
I loved this book! I revisit it often when I need to be inspired. It really is well written!
What a wonderful read.
10/24/2017 04:39:21 pm
I actually have read this book before (a long time ago), it's really an amazing read and would definitely recommend it as well. Hmm makes me want to give it another read...(www.beautywithzainy.com and www.spicyfusionkitchen.com)
10/24/2017 05:32:18 pm
I love how honest you were about it leaving you over whelmed the first time you read it! Even though I was born and raised as a Muslim, there are times when I read a book and I feel so awkward. It makes me feel like I have zero direction towards God and Islam. It takes a lot of time and courage to actually build up that motivation you had the second time you read this book, which btw, I am totally going to pick it soon. I might delay reading it, but I know I will eventually get to it!
10/25/2017 04:43:14 pm
Love your definition of ideal- I agree that it is not a destination but a journey...it is to be embraced and enjoyed. Great first post!
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The "Ideal Muslimah" section of Striving For Clarity provides an array of articles, micro-series and short tidbits geared towards highlighting the important characteristics of a Muslim woman.