HE WANTS TO CONVERT...FOR ME
I am Muslim from birth but I met a Christian guy who loves me and want to convert because of me. I Am confused and don't know what to do.
Asalaam Aleikum sister,
Without knowing much detail about your situation, it is hard to give specific advice. InshaAllah you will still benefit from our response.
First and foremost, conversion to Islam should be only for Allah (SWT) and not just for the sake of marriage. When a person says the shahadah, he/she should really, truly believe that Allah Subhanah wa' ta 'ala is the one true Creator, that He has no partners, and that Muhammad (SAW) is the last prophet. The person must also be aware of and willing to take on and work to uphold the five pillars of Islam as well as transform their life to align with Islamic principles. Of course, this does not happen overnight, but a prospective Muslim must be aware and willing to take on these responsibilities. Men and women who were not sincere in converting generally end up denouncing Islam later, not truly practicing, or admitting that they are “just going through the motions for appearances.” It is important to be honest and evaluative in your situation. Does this Christian man truly have interest in Islam? Does he believe in the oneness of Allah and the Prophet Muhammad(SAW)? Does he want to live a Muslim lifestyle? If he is sincere, then introduce him to your local imam or a trusted Muslim brother to guide him in his journey to learn about Islam. InshaAllah, he will truly accept the deen.
Second, if he does sincerely convert, give him some time to learn about Islam. Marriage in Islam is not a light matter. There are very specific responsibilities that a husband has towards his wife and future children inshaAllah. New male converts to Islam have to adjust to the concept of lowering their gaze and the rights his wife will have over him. Some couples complete a nikah ceremony immediately following one spouse’s shahadah, and alhamdulillah it works out. Other couples have to confront many conflicts due to misaligned perceptions of an Islamic marriage and each spouse's responsibilities.
Finally sister, the question that was not addressed is do you want to marry him? If you do not feel strongly for him, then I urge you to minimize contact with this man. All too often, muslimahs sometimes find themselves in compromising situations with non-Muslim men. If you do, please sister, make istakarah about this situation and seek the guidance of a wali or local imam to help this Christian man accept Islam if that his is sincere desire.
I pray that you may only benefit from this response.
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu ukthi, I’ve been getting so many blasphemous thoughts each day that they make me want to cry so much.. They are so bad that I’m so afraid that I’m out of the fold of Islam and that makes me feel really helpless in myself. I’m going to share with you what kind of thoughts they are.. “You can’t see Allah, so He doesn’t exist.” authubillah! Here’s another: “You’re not a muslim anymore because you are doubting your iman.” and finally: “You’re a disbeliever, why pray? It won’t even be accepted anyway.” Astaghfirullah, lately I've felt doubtful about my deen and if all the blasphemous thoughts are really true. :( I feel really sad that my supplications are not being answered when I sincerely ask Allah azza wajjal to give me certainty in Him. For some reason..my heart is half a certain believer and half doubtful if that makes any sense.. :/ I sometimes wonder if Allah has sealed my heart already and my fate in the akhira. I tremble with fear and tears roll down my face when I think about facing Allah with doubts in my faith and how that could potentially lead me to the fire. I always seek Allah's refuge from jahannam but I'm so scared that He has abandoned me already and doesn't want me to be a jannati. </3 The thought of Allah's wrath upon me breaks my heart. None of us can bear that of course :''( Any advice sister? May Allah reward you for reading this. -
Waleikum Asalaam Warahmatullah Wabarakatu Sister!
It’s so sad to hear you’ve been doubting your iman sister. Unfortunately, many Muslims go through periods such as this for various reasons. It could be that you are stressed out about something else going on in your life that is pulling you away from the deen. You should make sure to reassess your environment and those you keep company with. Are you constantly surrounded by haram or overtly focused on matters of the dunya? Try spending more time at Islamic events, hanging out with good sisters, reading the Qur’an and engaging in more matters of ibadah such as dhikr, fasting and nawfil salat.
In regards to your concern about whether or not your heart has been sealed- the fact that you are so worried about the state of your iman and possibly being in disbelief clearly shows that your heart is not sealed. Allah(SWT) says in Sura Al-Baqarah:
As to those who reject Faith, it is the same to them whether thou warn them or do not warn them they will not believe. Allah hath set a seal on their hearts and on their hearing. And on their eyes is a veil; great is the penalty they (incur).” (Surah 2:6-7)
Your awareness about possibly being in disbelief shows that you have not denied the existence of Allah subhana wa ta ‘ala and your obligations to him. Also, usually people who are overtly lacking in iman do not care when they are having bad thoughts, they do not care that they might be venturing into the haram. They won’t even notice that there’s a problem with their iman. Alhamdulilah, you are able to recognize that there is a problem and would like to fix it.
Remember that the Prophet(SAW) said:
Faith wears out in the heart of any one of you just as clothes wear out, so ask Allaah to renew the faith in your hearts.” Reported by al-Tabaraani
This hadith tells us that it’s normal for our iman to wade back and forth. The important thing is to make sure that we are always engaging in actions that will strengthen our iman and staying away from those that will have extreme adverse effects on our iman. The Prophet(SAW) also used to recite this dua(supplication):