This article was written by SFC Guest Contributor, FreeMuslimah.
My journey to Islam was not an easy one. I had to overcome so many obstacles that at some point I felt like giving up on my religion.
Life for me before Islam was extremely difficult. I was a very shy, quiet and reserved as a teenager. I didn’t go to nightclubs, bars or drink alcohol. I was neither interested in boys or participating in any of the typical western activities that was expected of a girl at my age. I was considered an outsider and weird because I didn’t conform to the west’s ‘cool kid’ ideology. I certainly felt like I didn’t belong in a community which encouraged and accepted ‘boyfriends’,’ loud/brash behaviour’ and consumption of alcohol. Believe me, I tried to fit in but every time I did something which was considered ‘normal teenage behaviour’, such as clubbing, I felt a huge dark cloud descending down on me. It just didn’t feel right,. Needless to say, me trying to fit in didn’t last long so I remained the weird girl. I knew I needed something more in life but I just didn’t know what that was…..until I found Islam.
I discovered Islam shortly after September 11th. I read some literature about the religion. I particularly focussed on the ‘role of the woman’ in Islam. The way these religious website described the Muslimiah’s nature was like looking in a mirror. It reflected my thinking, behaviour and intentions, that is when I knew Islam is what I had been searching for all along. I felt a connection with Allah, the prophets and the culture that emanated from Islam. The first time I heard Quran, I cried, it was so beautiful and although I didn’t understand the language, my heart ached for the beautiful words.
The first obstacle I had to tackle was my parents. I knew they would not be happy with me changing my religion, so for the first four years I kept my conversion a secret. I am ashamed to admit this but when someone mocked and ridiculed Muslims, I joined in. I didn’t want anyone knowing I was Muslim as I was scared of people’s negative reaction, so I remained for a long time in their eyes Atheist and a 'Muslim hater' .
A few years passed and I decided that enough was enough. I needed to change as I was sick of leading a double life. I was a Muslim and I needed to lead a life that i would have the freedom to practise my religion openly. I thought deeply about it and decided that a quick marriage might be the only solution to help me to gain this freedom…so I joined a Muslim marriage site.
When I joined the website, I naively thought that the men on that website were only looking for marriage-. I discovered that this wasn’t the case. There were a all sorts criminals, play boys and visa hunters etc.. So after weeding through all these undesirable men, I eventually found my husband , at last my prince charming!
We have grew both spiritually and religiously together, travelled the world, worked hard and created a beautiful life for our family. I am truly blessed and I thank Allah for protecting me and giving me so much fantastic opportunities and gifts in this life. So I did eventually have a fairy tale ending all thanks to my determination to become ( and remain) a Muslim, Allah and my husband .
Stay Tuned for Part 2...
About "FreeMuslimah": I am a wife, a mother and a teacher. I enjoy reading both fiction and non fiction. I also enjoy family time, cooking, learning about other cultures, travelling, learning new skills and meeting new people. I have a few ambitions study for a Master’s degree, set up my own business and write a children’s book.
Welcome to our "Convert/Revert" section. This section of Striving For Clarity is dedicated to articles and stories geared towards those who chose to enter Islam later in life. If you would like to contribute to this section, visit our Guest Contributor page.