Reflections: Struggle and grow

Over the last couple of weeks I have been reflecting on my life and all that I have going on. I am Muslim, Nigerian, a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend, a business owner and much more. I like to think that I am pious, kind, helpful, loving and creative. While being all of these things, I realize that I have a lot going on and I have been neglecting certain important areas of my life, with the biggest being my deen.

Yes I pray, yes I still try to be a good person and practice Islam, yes I still observe hijab but I’ve seriously been slacking. Gone are the days where I spent time before and after each salah reading pages of the Qur’an in Arabic and English. Gone are the days where I regularly listened to a new lecture everyday and pondered about how I could incorporate what I was learning into my life. Islam is definitely still very important to me and I’m always striving to be better. However, part of striving for clarity is the realization that I am failing in some areas and that I need to do better.


I’ve noticed that often, when people mention that they are struggling with their deen, they generally also say that their iman needs work. For me though, that’s not my problem. My faith in Islam- in the Prophets and Messengers(Peace and Blessings be upon them), in the oneness of Allah, in the holy books, my belief and understanding of the day of judgement, the angels and that our destiny is already written- has not changed. My faith is just as strong as it was a few months ago. I am still proud to be Muslim and I am constantly striving to do better. What has changed however, is my commitment and prioritization.

On one hand, I wish there were more hours in the day for me to get all of my work done, take care of my home, take care of my family, volunteer within my community and engage in studies for the deen.  On the other hand, I am fully aware that all things are possible through Allah(SWT) and that by taking the time to worship Him, anything good that I want, will happen for me.
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