2/27/2017 Dear Friend
Asalaam Alaikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu, How are you? In sha Allah, all is going well with you and your life. This is probably where I should mention that I miss you but based on your actions over the last year, months and weeks, you probably don’t care. If you did care, we’d probably still be friends and this letter would not need to be written. Ideally though, it would be nice to know that you still think of me occasionally and miss me as well. It’s been a couple of months since we’ve spoken and although this isn’t the first time that that’s happened, something tells me, this time is different. This time, it’s definite. The last time we stopped talking, or more accurately- you stopped talking to me, I probably shouldn’t have responded when you finally decided to reach out but nevertheless, I decided to anyway, and now, we’re here again. Who would’ve thought that a day would come where our phones weren’t going off with notifications from WhatsApp messages, Instagram tags and mutual Facebook comments? A day where I’d be laughing on the phone and my husband wouldn’t ask “Are you talking to again?”. I remember when I first met you, I didn’t think we’d be friends and actually avoided you for some time. We didn’t become close friends until about two years after we initially met and I remember thinking “I should’ve hung out with her sooner”. Never did I think we’d get to this place. You were one of the few people that I thought I could sincerely count on. We’d joke about taking vacations together once we were both married. We joked about being ‘aunties’ to each other’s children. You were someone that I thought I could tell almost anything to. Now, I’d second guess even telling you the most superficial of details about my life. I thought you’d always be be a phone call or text message away. Then you stopped answering. You were supposed to be one of few people that I could trust. Then I learned about the judgements and things said about me to others. I thought our friendship was based on mutual respect, admiration and love for the deen. Instead, it seems as if I was only there to fill a certain temporary role. I thought we’d be friends in this life and the next. Instead, we’ve grown apart. I guess that’s just life. We don’t talk anymore. I don’t know how your life is going or what you’ve been going through. I have my suspicions based on the past, but that’s not the same as knowing. Are you happy? Are you where you want to be in life? How are your siblings and parents doing? How are your studies going? Even though we’re no longer friends(I think it’s safe to conclude that we’re no longer friends but you’re welcome to correct me), I want you know that I don’t dislike you and that I do still care about your well-being. You were what I’d consider a best friend and despite how things ended, I will always love you for the sake of Allah. I still randomly come across things that remind me of you and thanks to Facebook’s “On This Day” feature, I still see some of our old interactions. There are times when I’ll read an article and think about how in the past, I would send it to you and then we’d delve into a long discussion on our thoughts. Now that I’m expecting, there are instances where I’ll remember something that we previously discussed about having kids and I’ll laugh and think to tell you about it. Fortunately, these moments are happening less and less and eventually you’ll just become a distant memory. We all choose our own paths in life and it seems we’ve come to the point where ours no longer intertwine. I hope you’re happy. I hope you’ve found someone else to engage in long discussions with. Someone else to banter about proper etiquette guidelines with. Someone else to vent to and to celebrate your accomplishments with. Someone else to share new insights or knowledge about the deen with. Knowing you the way that I do, you’re probably going to disregard this letter. I’d actually be surprised if you read it till the end. I’ll end by saying: I do cherish the memories we made and hope that your life is filled with success, prosperity and happiness. As always, you are still in duas. Sincerely, Your former ‘friend’. To seal a friendship for Allah’s sake indicates the obligation of establishing relationships of love and trust for His sake; this is a friendship for the sake of Allah. It also indicates that simple affection is not enough here; indeed what is meant is a love based upon alliance. This entails assistance, honor, and respect. It means being with those whom you love both in word and deed.”
13 Comments
Shaiqa Bushra
3/1/2017 10:01:20 am
Alhumdulilah.
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3/2/2017 02:22:53 am
THIS! For the feels.. as I've experienced this too with a "former" writing buddy. I hate that word now "former", it's kind of even worst that "ex" could ever be. It's not like I wasn't there are her lowest points, in fact I had gotten her back to track to reality and to believe in herself. But I guess sometimes, there are just some areas which you're not needed or accepted, because they are just too absorbed with their daily denials. I still pray for her ever now. I can't even care less if she doesn't. It's been almost one year she had cut me off. I still pray for her.
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Lady_Meansie
3/5/2017 05:25:35 pm
Your sentiments are how I feel as well. At the end of the day, all we can do is pray for that person and go about our business.
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Nadia
3/2/2017 03:30:11 pm
Aww this just breaks my heart. I think we've all there at some point. Sometimes life provides you with different paths to take and while you may prefer to be on the same one, your friend doesn't and you have no choice but to accept it. As long as you wish them well and would still greet them politely if your paths crossed again, I'm not sure the hadith is applicable.
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3/3/2017 06:06:55 pm
That's an amazing letter. It's so sad when we drift apart from friends. I hate that feeling. But so beautiful that you still keep her in your duas x
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Amina
3/3/2017 07:41:16 pm
Its great you still have positive thoughts and wishes for her. Although it is sad situation and can be heart-breaking, life goes on. Making Dua is the best way forward.
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Lady_Meansie
3/5/2017 05:26:26 pm
JazakAllah Khair for sharing that Hadith. Definitely something that I needed to read.
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Aww so sorry to hear about your falling out with your friend =(. This is a very nice letter and you used beautiful words. It's nice that you still have such positive thoughts about her and care for her. I think you left it on a very good note. I do hope she changes and comes around one day, and maybe the two of you can be friends again. If not, it's the Qadr of Allah. May Allah (swt) make it easy on you and replace this lost friendship with another one that is everlasting, ameen.
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3/4/2017 08:17:15 am
A great read but it's a sad reality though that sometimes your close friends too get irritated by you & leave you or you just have to text them they don't bother anything & it hurts alot.
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I am so sorry about the ending of your friendship. Did you end up actually sending the letter to her? I love how positive you were. I would love to know how she responded. As I get older, although I have friends, I try not to get too emotionally invested because it can be difficult to move forward once that friendship fizzles out.
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Lady_Meansie
3/5/2017 05:28:20 pm
I did end up sending her the letter. She did respond. It wasn't the greatest but I think it was best and provided much needed closure.
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About "Life Gems"Welcome to another addition to "Lady_Meansie's Corner". This portion of my corner is essentially my blog. The posts will be short but packed with important reminders for fellow Muslimahs. Remember to leave your thoughts in the comments. I love engaging in dialogue with my fellow Muslimahs. Archives
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